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Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
The origin of "March Madness"
The term “March Madness” was popularized by H.V. Porter, who has some sweet hair (that’s him in the picture).The phrase had nothing to do with the NCAA – it actually involved a high school tournament sponsored by the Illinois High School Association, which Porter belonged to.
In 1939, Porter wrote an essay called “March Madness” for the IHSA’s magazine. The first time “March Madness” was used to describe the NCAA tournament was in 1982, when a CBS sportscaster used it.
Even though one of their own coined the term, the IHSA didn’t own the trademark “March Madness.” You might suspect the NCAA snapped it up first – nope. By the time anyone thought to go after a trademark in the 1990s, it had already been taken by a television company. The IHSA bought the rights and then tried to sue the NCAA for using the term, but the United States Court of Appeals decided it was a dual-use trademark, so both parties are able to legally use the phrase.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
I can't pay my taxes.
Dear IRS,
I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, Medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle license registration tax, capital gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Kansas property tax, Texas, Missouri, Iowa, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Illinois sales tax, and many more that I can't recall but I have run out of money.
When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangel, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Daschle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.
P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.
I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, Medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle license registration tax, capital gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Kansas property tax, Texas, Missouri, Iowa, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Illinois sales tax, and many more that I can't recall but I have run out of money.
When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangel, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Daschle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.
P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
DEATH OF COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies(don't spend more than you can earn)and
reliable strategies(adults,not children,are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were
set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged
with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash
after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves
had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent to administer sun lotion
or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches
became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after
a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,
and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense again lost when a rancher in Arizona is
being sued by 16 illegal aliens for violation of their
civil rights when he apprehended them on his property
and held them until border patrol agents could arrive.
This in a US court and the judge would not dismiss it.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents,
Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his
daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies(don't spend more than you can earn)and
reliable strategies(adults,not children,are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were
set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged
with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash
after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves
had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent to administer sun lotion
or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches
became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after
a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,
and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense again lost when a rancher in Arizona is
being sued by 16 illegal aliens for violation of their
civil rights when he apprehended them on his property
and held them until border patrol agents could arrive.
This in a US court and the judge would not dismiss it.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents,
Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his
daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
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