Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Brian and Kellie, a week later.

As we go about our lives, we're more than flattered at the well wishes. Everywhere we go, people stop us to express concern. Visit our website, brianandkellie.com. You can e-mail & visit our Myspace pages from there. We love the feedback.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

We are flattered.

Brian and Kellie have read EVERY single comment on the net today. Our eyes are tired. We are in awe. Thank you - each and every one of you.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Rate His Lovemaking Dot Com

Yes, it's a website. Ratehislovemaking.com

As the name implies, women apparently go here and dish on their mans lovemaking. The details are all there. It looks like they don't use last names - obviously sparing themselves the lawsuits.
This is every mans nightmare. Oh girls, I know you think this is cute, but every guy will click this and navigate the pages to see if they make the lists. What trauma it will be to those that find their name there. Maybe you thought you were a terrific lover, only to discover what she really thinks.
What kind of woman would do this to a man anyway? How on Earth will he perform upon discovering that you told the Earth he is a lousy lover? There's too much pressure already. This site may actually make matters worse.

There needs to be a site called, Iknowitsaliebutheisincredibleinbed dot com. We men are gullible enough to believe it.

Monday, February 19, 2007

I am wrong wrong wrong.

I've edited the last post because of attacks on other blogs. Someone actually compared me to Hitler. The punchline of the post was lost in the set-up. I apologize especially to Dave & JP who are especially riled up.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hillary gets "owned."

Hillary Clinton has started her Presidential campaign by attempting to align herself with the military and be tough on terror.

The picture shows that this soldier has been through Survival School and learned his lessons well. He’s giving the sign of “coercion” with his left hand. These hand signs are taught in survival school to be used by POW’s as a method of posing messages back to our intelligence services who may view the photo or video. This guy was being coerced into shaking hands with Hillary Clinton. It’s ironic perhaps because she’s never understood our military to begin with.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hijab on a Barbie doll

Muslim Barbies. They're here. Well it's certainly Barbie, but Mattel doesn't have the cajones to call her that - call this Barbie: Fulla.

In reality she's been around since 2003. Fulla will never have a boyfriend doll like Ken, but look for a Doctor Fulla and a Teacher Fulla soon.

By the way, Fulla is $16 - in a region where the average monthly take home pay is $100.

What's under that coat? Run!!!! Did I say that? Sorry. You make the call.

I wanna pee upside down

This won't make many newscasts - so I present it here.

This is an 18 month old dog named, "Baby." Baby used to pee like the other dogs. He'd raise his leg and pee on the tree. This is of course is in the "dog handbook", all dogs receive. Most dogs figure it out, and follow it's "peeing instructions" all their lives. Not Baby.

Baby now stands on his front legs and well, look at the picture. This is the way Baby now pees. Every time - no fail. Baby's owner is perplexed as to why her pooch has adopted this acrobatic position to pee.

Let me see if I can analyze what baby is doin' here. Baby apparently wants to get as much tree/pee coverage as possible. Why pee at the base of the tree, when you can pee way up the trunk and let it run down? Maybe it simply feels good? Maybe Baby pees this way - BECAUSE HE CAN!!!

I can't pee this way. I envy Baby. I haven't ever looked into alternative ways to pee. This is a remarkable dog.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Dixie Chicks back on the air? Nah.

So, TDC won a bunch of Grammys. Recall the 2003 Bush-bashing comment?

Music Row isn't welcoming them back into the country-music fold.
Most country stations aren't playing the Chicks, and they aren't going to start now.
The awards likely will have the opposite effect, sparking another radio backlash against TDC. Comrades in Country Radio insist the five Grammys show how out of touch the Recording Academy is from the average country fan.

Country stations quit playing TDC in 2003 after Natalie Maines announced, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas." TDC sang about it in their single, "Not Ready to Make Nice," which won Grammys as record and song of the year. Their album, "Taking the Long Way," won album of the year.

At the recent CMA awards TDC weren't even nominated for a prize.
"Not Ready to Make Nice" peaked at #36 on the Billboard charts - and it's the BEST COUNTRY ALBUM?

I'm with Nashville on this one. So the West Coast thinks TDC deserve awards. Los Angeles doesn't even have an FM Country station. That is how out of touch the Recording Academy is.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Barack-a-Palooza

Barack-a-Palooza. Springfield Illinois 2/10/07

Barack me Gently. Barack me Slowly. Take it easy, don't you know, I have never been Baracked like this before.

I love Barack-n-Roll, put another dime in the Jukebox Baby.

We will We will - Barack you.

If there's a Barack-N-Roll Heaven, you know they've got a Hell of a band.

One O-Clock, Two O-Clock, Three O-Clock Barack.

I'm Just a Singer in A Barack-N-Roll Band.

Geez, Obama will have it easy when it comes to picking a theme song. I came within 50 feet of Wonderboy today, but couldn't score a photo. I did however score this one with Chris Matthews on the Today Show set. That's my son Nick, on the left.

Obama's running mate

Early speculation is that Brian Pierce, an Illinois radio show host with no political experience whatsoever, is Barack Obama's choice as a running mate in 2008. Pundits argue that the cheesy photoshop image is not proof of Obama's selection, but agree it won't hurt his poll numbers. Pierce was unavailable for comment as was Senator Obama. Friends of Pierce say, "Brian appears to be in an "Obama Trance" as is much of the rest of the country."

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Things we like more & less - than the President.

According to a CBS News poll, the president`s overall approval rating dipped to 28 percent—the lowest number in his presidency and dangerously close to Nixon`s all-time low of 24 percent. Let's put this news in perspective.


OTHER THINGS WITH A 28 PERCENT APPROVAL RATING

• Boxer Briefs

• Kelly Osbourne

• Body Hair on Guys

• Reptiles

• A Wall Along the Mexican Border

• Text Message Flirting

• Porn

• Cottage Cheese

THINGS WITH AN APPROVAL RATING HIGHER THAN GEORGE W. BUSH

• Brussels Sprouts (51%)

• Coke Zero (41%)

• Hillary Duff (52%)

• Jennifer Love Hewitt (36%)

• Fruit Cake (40%)

• Kevin Federline (45%)

• Rosie O`Donnell on The View (46%)

• Crocheting (72%)

• Fishing (49%)

• Legalizing Prostitution (58%)

• The Dentist (45%)

• Hanson (53%)

• In-Laws (68%)

• Figs (76%)

• The Name "Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt" (29%)

• Ciara`s Goodies (55%)

• The Pussy Cat Dolls (56%)

• Ryan Seacrest (60%)

• The "Dude, You`re getting a Dell!" Guy (42%)

• The Backstreet Boys (66%)

• Nickelback (57%)

• Sum 41 (63%)

• Hootie & The Blowfish (84%)

• Stepping in Dog Shit (35%)

• Walking in the Rain Without an Umbrella (60%)

• Small Breasts (50%)

• Getting Kicked in the Balls (41%)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Superbowl in one picture.

This picture best sums up the Superbowl. You may have missed the game entirely, just glance at this pic, and you'll know all you need to know about what happened Sunday.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Prince photo from the Superbowl

Almost immediately this photo is on the net. Prince at the Superbowl performing behind a giant wind-blown - backlit - probably nylon cloth. There are cries of "Phallic!" No doubt the F.C.C. has been notified. Phallic? Maybe if Prince is a lizard - or from another planet - where their "members" are thin & long with arrows on the end. This was the best halftime in years, all courtesy of a little odd man from Minnesota.

The "Will your Marriage last?" quiz.

It's Wedding Month and you're in love, but do you have what it takes to live happily ever after? Thanks to a 22-question quiz from Dr. John Gottman of Washington University in St. Louis you can find out. Answer these 22 questions and then see below to find out what your answers mean.
  1. I can name my partner's best friends.
  2. I know what stresses my partner is currently facing.
  3. I know the names of some people who have been irritating my partner lately.
  4. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
  5. I know my partner's basic philosophy of life.
  6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
  7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
  8. When we're apart, I think fondly of my partner.
  9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.
  10. My partner really respects me.
  11. There is passion in our relationship.
  12. Romance is still part of our relationship.
  13. My partner appreciates the things I do.
  14. My partner likes my personality.
  15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying.
  16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me.
  17. My partner is one of my best friends.
  18. We just love talking to each other.
  19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions.
  20. My partner listens respectfully even when we disagree.
  21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver.
  22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life.

What your answers mean:

15 or more positive answers: You have a lot of strength in your relationship.

8 to 14 positive answers: This is a pivotal time in your relationship as there are strengths you can build upon, but do focus on the weaknesses that need your attention.

7 or fewer: Your relationship may be in serious trouble and could be headed for the rocks. If you're concerned about this, it means you probably still value the relationship enough to get help.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Books appear to be "over."

So you want to write a book. Well, why not? So does about 80 percent of the United States population according to a survey.

Anyone who has ever tried to find an agent or get a manuscript accepted by a publisher knows what a tough business writing is. Even if you do get your book published, there's no guarantee anyone will buy it.

The following statistics about book publishing and reading were found on www.parapub.com, the Web site of self-publishing guru Dan Poynter. They'll give you an idea of what you're up against if you want to write books for a living.

1/3 of high school graduates will never read another book for the rest of their lives.
42 percent of college graduates never read another book after college.
80 percent of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.
70 percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
57 percent of new books are not read to completion.
70 percent of books published do not earn back their advance.
70 percent of the books published do not make a profit.

A successful fiction book sells 5,000 copies.
A successful nonfiction book sells 7,500 copies.

On average, a bookstore browser spends 8 seconds looking at a book's front cover and 15 seconds looking at the back cover.

Each day in the U.S., people spend 4 hours watching TV, 3 hours listening to the radio and 14 minutes reading magazines.

I read nearly 300 pages a day, none from books.