Sunday, May 11, 2008

Hang a couch from a tree. Sure, let's do it.

I gotta tell ya, this looks like a resourceful man at work. Ed said, "Hell, I'm gonna string that couch up on the tree out yonder." Darlene said, "OK Ed, and put the Tiki lamp out there too, so we can swing at night and not get bit by the skeeters." Ed had the gumption to take on this project - instead of slapping a coat of paint on the house, or throwing down some grass seed. Looks like fun, until it rains.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mr. Mow the Lawn.

Here is an intrepid mower. Instead of worrying about his flood situation, he's decided to spruce up the lawn. Never mind he can't get the car out of the garage, someone may boat by and think, "Man, Dave's really let the lawn go."
There oughta be a Bud Light commercial for him. "Here's to you - Mr. Mow the Lawn no matter what the hell is going on."

Thursday, May 08, 2008

How to save One Billion Gallons of Gas

Lose Weight!!!

Americans weigh about 24 more pounds per person than we did in the 1970s. That weight, when we're driving, has to be moved around with our cars. Multiplied over the three trillion miles driven in America each year, suddenly we need a lot of gas to move around our extra chub. If we could lose those 24 lbs and reach 1970's sizes, America would used nearly one billion gallons of gas less than we currently do.

Lose weight. You first.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The Gas Tax Holiday Calculator.

The Gas Tax Holiday Calculator - just told me I'll save $27 under Hillary's plan. Geez. To save $100, I'm gonna have to drive nearly 1000 miles a week between Memorial & Labor Day. That means I'm gonna have to be in the car fours a day every day. I thought recently about getting a moped. Now, I'm thinking horse.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Humbled by the Distinguished Service Cross

Master Sgt. Brendan O’Connor received the Distinguished Service Cross, the Army’s second-highest valor award, for his actions during a 17-hour battle in Afghanistan.

The 47-year-old Special Forces medical sergeant spoke with humor and humility after the medal was pinned on his uniform in a ceremony at Bank Hall on Fort Bragg.

O’Connor led a quick reaction force June 24, 2006, in Kandahar province’s Panjwai District, described by Special Forces as one of the most hotly contested areas of southern Afghanistan.

He maneuvered his force through Taliban positions and crawled alone through enemy machine-gun fire to reach two wounded soldiers, the citation said. He tied a signal cloth to his back to identify himself to aircraft overhead. While under fire, he provided medical care and carried a wounded soldier more than 150 yards across open ground. He climbed over a wall three times under enemy fire to help wounded soldiers seek cover. Then he took over as the operations sergeant and rallied, motivated and led his team.

Maj. Sheffield Ford said after the ceremony that O’Connor picked up Sgt. Joseph Fuerst and carried him over his shoulder and ran while under fire.

“Knowing that bullets were coming in all around him, he didn’t hesitate,” Ford said. “He continued to get up and move because he knew he had to get Joe back if he was going to have a chance to try to save him.” Fuerst died, and Staff Sgt. Matthew Binney survived, Ford said.

During training, Special Forces medics, who have extensive training and upon whom the entire team depends, are told to wait for others to bring the wounded to them, but O’Connor realized the soldiers needed immediate help and the battle was not going to stop, Ford said.

The award came 40 years after O’Connor’s father was killed in Vietnam.

*I am humbled by this mans heroism.

Cats that look like Wilford Brimley

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Why it's great to be a woman.

When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

Women live longer than men.

If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

There are times when a woman can make all her problems disappear with a piece of chocolate.

A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.