Saturday, October 31, 2009

I gave away $2 bills for Halloween.

I gave away $2 bills for Halloween. I was the talk of the neighborhood. I've done this before. I always thought there was a chance of a kid getting in line twice trying to get more cash than his fair share. It's never happened until tonight.

A kid rang my doorbell. He announced that he was Barack Obama. He had on no outfit - just a sweatshirt & running shorts. He explained that often the President dresses this way, and I didn't argue.

90 minutes later, as I'm about to shut off the porch light the doorbell rings again. Here's a kid wearing a Wolfman mask. He wanted his $2. Something didn't seem right - and it's then I recognized the sweatshirt & running shorts. It was Barack Obama, this time with a mask on.

I had Fairys, Policemen, Darth Vader & Spiderman. I had Batman and Cheerleaders. I had football players and little Pumpkin people - but the ONLY kid that tried to rip me off for more than his fair share was BARACK OBAMA.

With God as my witness, this is exactly what happened.

If it was going to happen - it had to happen this way. It's synchronicity. It's perfect.

Thanks Mr. President

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Things we've learned from horror films.

When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house, move immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If you're searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave now.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Cell Phones dominate TV & Movies

This is a scream. Cell phones now dominate TV & movies. Never before has there been so much fooling around with phones.