Saturday, December 30, 2006

I gave up on Best Buy and you should too.

Read. Read all you can. The information is out there. Read, and you'll never step inside a Best Buy ever again.

Great story recently about a man who bought a Tony Bennett CD. He took it outside and placed it in his car stereo. The CD was defective. He walked back inside with receipt in hand and asked for a refund. He was told that was impossible. He asked to speak with management and Best Buy called 911. Not one, but two cars with officers respond to embarrass the customer.

There's the story about the woman who bought the Sony camcorder and the box contained pasta sauce. Best Buy wouldn't resolve the situation - Sony stepped in to remedy things and stop the bad press.

There's the man who bought a car stereo and was told installation was free. Upon installation, and he met "free installation criteria" - he was told of a charge. he refused, and cops were called.

I had a similar situation years ago. My wife bought me a pair of expensive headphones, that were one model number away from the ones I really wanted. Best Buy didn't sell the model I wanted, and refused to refund the money. That day, I decided to never shop Best Buy again. I've held true to that commitment.

Best Buy isn't the Best Buy anyway. They should be re-named "Best Selection" - but I want a Best Buy - and I find that elsewhere.

The way this company treats customers is outrageous. It's time they get a wake up call.

Read. Search out the company complaints. These guys have run amok.

Friday, December 29, 2006

The ego maniacal, loud mouth, tyrant is gone. I have Iraqi friends. We're in agreement, this is a (to borrow from Martha Stewart) "Good Thing."

President Bush is a Hero

President George W. Bush, vilified by many, supported by some, is a hero to me.

Why do I say that? It's not because I agree with the President's domestic agenda. It's not because I think he's done a perfect job in the White House.

George Bush is a hero to me because he has courage. The President does what he believes to be in the best interest of the United States. He sticks with his beliefs, no matter how intense the criticism and invective that are directed against him every day.

The enormous defeat President Bush suffered with the loss of both Houses of Congress has not caused him to retreat from his position that the U.S. alone now stands between a radical Islamic takeover of many of the world's governments in the next 30 or more years. If that takeover occurs, we will suffer an enslavement that will threaten our personal freedoms and take much of the world back into the Dark Ages.

Our major ally in this war against the forces of darkness, Great Britain, is still being led by an outstanding prime minister, Tony Blair. However, Blair will soon be set out to pasture, which means Great Britain will leave our side and join France, Germany, Spain and other countries that foolishly believe they can tame the wolf at the door and convert it into a domestic pet that will live in peace with them.

These dreamers naively believe that if we feed the wolves what they demand, they will go away. But that won't happen. Appeasement never works. The wolves always come back for more and more, and when we have nothing left to give, they come for us.

This is what I and many of you believe, but these are the words of former New York Mayor, Ed Koch 12/28/06 on

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I made the news today

I took over a TV station today. It created quite a scene. I apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused. I'll go back to the faceless radio where I belong.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

This is what I want.

What do I want for Christmas? I've told my people what I want. Several items. Several times this year - I've more than dropped a few hints. I don't think anyone was listening. I'm at that point I'm gonna get what I get - and what I want is beside the point. I'm OK with that. I have to be. This is a fact of life. There comes a time - there is nothing you can do - that you barely "get"anything at all. I surrender to the "gift giver", and will be pleased with anything.

This doesn't stop me though from dropping one last hint for anyone in my family reading this.

Where are all the chestnuts?

Chestnuts roasting by an open fire. I've had the fire, never a chestnut. Not even once. Roasted? Nope. I've never heard them, "pop, pop, pop." It appears chestnuts are a regional thing - mostly the East coast. Maybe that's why I haven't had a chestnut. I don't know much about chestnuts really. I know they are grown on trees and shrubs. I hear that they smell bad. Europeans and Asians eat more chestnuts than Americans. The American chestnut has nearly vanished because of disease. The trees & shrubs suffered a "blight." Awwwwww.

Nevertheless, if you get a chestnut and are hell-bent on roasting it, make sure you cut a slit in the top of each individual nut - because they don't "pop" - they are known to EXPLODE. Experts say 200-220 degrees for about 15 minutes in a shallow pan oughta do it.

Now, about Jack Frost nipping at my nose. It's not my nose he nips at - it's lower - lower - right there. That's where I am "nipped."

Friday, December 15, 2006

Grand Canyon to get glass bottom view.

An Indian tribe is luring tourists out over the edge of the Grand Canyon on a glass-bottom observation deck 4,000 feet above the Colorado River, (toss cookies.) It’s called the Skywalk, a horseshoe-shaped walkway that will jut from the canyon’s lip and offer a straight-down, (barf).... vertigo-inducing view, (puke.)

The $30 million Skywalk, (upchuck) is financed by a Las Vegas businessman, (pray to the porcelin God) and set to open in March, (blow lunch) It's also started a debate among Hualapai elders who question whether making money is worth disturbing sacred ground, (spew.) The Hualapai believe their ancestors emerged from the earth of the Grand Canyon, (heave) and the area surrounding the project is scattered with the tribe’s sacred archaeological and burial sites, (vomit.)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Scientists claimed to have proven that Santa’s journey to all the world’s children in one night IS possible. According to Larry Silverberg, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at North Carolina State University - Santa gets the job done using electromagnetic waves, computer science, nanotechnology, genetic engineering and the space-time continuum.

His journey is helped out by a “relativity cloud” — based on Einstein’s discovery that time can be stretched and space squeezed. The scientist says, “Rips in time allow Santa months to deliver presents while only minutes pass on Earth.”

An on-board SatNav prepares a detailed route, while the sleigh is pulled by reindeer genetically bred to fly and balance on rooftops. There are no weight problems as the toys are built only when Santa reaches each child’s home, using a nano-toymaker to create them from soot.

So - “Santa’s trip is possible and based on plausible science.”

That oughta shut up the nay sayers.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Santa hangs.

Bah Humbug! A Canadian man has upset some people, after he put an effigy of Santa Claus on a cross on his front lawn to make a statement about the orgy of consumption in the modern world. Above Santa's head, the man has inscribed the words 'Sumptum Fac Donec Consumptus Sis.' Roughly translated, it means 'Shop till you drop.'

The man (Jimmy Wright) says, "Santa represents frivolous consumption. That's all he is. He shot Jesus right out of the saddle. He's the focus of Christmas."

Be glad you don't live next door to this twerp.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Santa makes kids cry!

It's that special time of the year. Time to drag the kids to the mall and place them on Santas lap! Kids love Santa - can't you tell? Kids love being placed on a strange mans lap. The proof is right here. Look at the joy in their screaming faces as they yell with glee. I've heard from mall Santas. They complain of being coughed & sneezed on. Today I got a letter from a Santa complaining of being peed on. Apparently this happens often. Next time you drag your kid to the mall for the Santa visit, consider the trauma you may be putting this poor kid through. "Waaaaaaaahhhhh." "Shut Up kid - it's SANTA!!!"

Monday, December 04, 2006

Phil Spectors' hair about to go on trial.

This is comedy. Pure comedy. Not that someone died at Phil Spectors' house - but Phil Spector himself. Look at this man.

Lana Clarkson, an actress wound up dead - shot to death in Spectors' California mansion in 2003. The legal wrangling has continued since - with Phil free on bond. The trial is set to begin in March. This will be a media spectacle "who-done-it." I won't speculate here on his guilt or innocence. What I will say is, "What is the deal with his hair!!!!!!??"

THIS IS A TOUPEE. I kid you not. Phil Spector is bald as a door-knob. He wears this basketball sized thing on his head day & night. Yes. He wears this to bed. Ronnie Spector, his ex-wife, reports that she's NEVER seen him without it - and they were married six years!!!!! A toupee is one thing, this contraption is something else entirely. If I were Spectors' lawyer, my first advice would be, "Lose the hair." A jury will decide this mans guilt or innocence based on among other things, his grip on reality. Phil has obviously, "lost his grip."

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Ameren customers are not this happy.

What's wrong with this picture. This is from the Ameren Power company website. This is a woman calling Ameren to report a problem with service. She looks so pleased that someone answered. She's obviously grateful to make it through the busy signals. So what is her problem? This woman has power. Look! She has lights and is using her laptop! Her hair looks nice. She's used a hairdryer and had a hot shower. I can tell. It appears to be over 40 degrees in her kitchen. This is another sign this photo is staged. Ameren reports nearly 500,000 people without power after the Midwest snow & ice storms. The website should reflect the reality of it all. The picture on the website should be that of a frozen blue-lipped, limp-haired, tired, hungry, customer needing a shower.

Your tongue is stuck - not mine.

What is it with people that stick their tongues on ice cold metal? Is it that they don't believe they'll get stuck? With the nations mid-section gripped with cold weather, there are stories everyday of people of all ages becoming stuck and requiring rescue. A girl in Springfield Missouri just yesterday became stuck, and when kids ran to get her parents, the parents arrived with hot water and a camera. This is what you need to rescue a tongue sticker. Remember the camera - you'll want to re-live the moment of stupidity for the rest of your life. What the world needs is a Teflon coated non stick flagpole. Or, as in the case of the dude at the left, a Teflon coated non stick railing.