Thursday, July 27, 2006

XM radio. Put a fork in it.

XM radio continues to lose money. They're losing $2.6 million a day. That's $108,000 an hour. That's $1800 a minute. $30 bucks a second - every second of every day all day every day 24 hours a day - AHHHHH - Shoot me. That my friend, is a screwed up business. Imagine being XM brass, and having to explain almost daily what you're gonna go to stop the bleeding. XM loses $20,000 in the time it takes me to slap back a cup of coffee. Why?

XM thought you all were completely dissatisfied with American broadcasting. XM assumed you'd pay anything for digital commercial free programming. So far, 8.2 million of you have. 295,734,134 call America home. XM has a long way to go.

Don't get me wrong. Many ARE dissatisfied with radio as it is. Corporate radio has reduced many stations to a Windows 2000 program that runs itself. It's impersonal. It's dry. It's programming that's void of feeling. It creates stations that are impossible to bond with. XM is the personification of this bland radio reality - and subscribers - and potential subscribers know it.

Local radio from local owners still make the listener connection. There are some corporate stations that succeed in doing this - they're just few and far between. In the meantime, XM goes on, delivering channel after channel of the same ol' shit. They're like cable TV. "I have 250 channels and there's nothing on!"

The headlines read: "XM is reducing subscriber estimates." "XM reports more losses." Lose $231,000,000 in 90 days in almost any business and the business closes. Why then don't they close up shop? They claim they know why numbers are so bad. "Current marketplace dynamics."

In radio speak - this means little radio shops like the one I work for are serving the needs of listeners without charging a subscription fee.

If you own satellite radio stock, sell. Call your broker and sell it right now. Now. Tomorrow it may not be worth the paper it's printed on.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Cursor Kite

This is the coolest thing I've seen in years. A kite that looks like a desktop cursor. No, this isn't a photoshop thing. Much of the kite is clear and appears invisible. It does make for some really cool pictures. How much is it? How can I buy it? It's not on the market yet - but will be soon.

In the digital age - this is surely a Million Dollar Idea. Hats off to the inventor, Tim Elverston.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Don't you dare tow my car.

I've had it up to here with towing companies. No. I wasn't towed. I've been towed before - many times. Sometimes I'm a "take chances parker."

A towing company in my city recently towed over 30 cars from a private lot. The drivers were attending a function downtown. This city saw it's downtown die a horrific death about 20 years ago. Since, events are planned to draw visitors back downtown.

These tow trucks towed these cars on a Saturday from a private lot that wasn't being used in any way. The lot is owned by a man who insists he didn't contact the tow company. The company then demanded cash from the parkers to get their cars back. By cash I mean - they wouldn't accept check or credit card. Cash only. After fees it amounted to over $100 per car.

Were the cars parked illegally? Only if the owner wanted the cars off his property. Otherwise we can deduce the owner didn't care if people parked there. The tow company literally took it upon themselves to police the lot - stealing these cars.

The car owners are steamed. State Law forbids tow companies from demanding cash. The fined - are fighting back and filing complaints.

All this is going on and the city - that sponsored the event that drew the parkers in the first place is decidely quiet on the issue. Why? Why on Earth won't the Mayor and other big dogs come out in favor of the parkers. This is about good will. This is about a city trying to revive it's downtown. Why can't local government stand behind these people who were robbed by this tow company?

We as citizens are encouraged to attend events in our downtown. If I risk being towed, I might reconsider my options.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hot weather makes you crazy

America is caught up in a heatwave. Nearly every state in the lower 48 is hitting 90 every day. So far, The best new "It's so Hot" - I've heard is - "It's so hot it feels like wearing a pair of sweatpants full of barbecue." Yes!

Tempers flare in hot weather. Check your local paper. In every city & town in this country - bad things are happening - that I blame completely on the heat. Normally rational people go nuts when it's hot day after day after day.

Woman stabs husband because he ate last piece of pizza.
Man pokes out wives eye with carrot.
Woman beats hairdresser for bad dye job.
Man hospitalized because girlfriend threw a microwave oven at him.

These stories are true - from my little county - in just the last few days. What else could it be than the heat? Do you feel the bad karma of 90 plus degrees? People are more aggressive, we drive faster and become less patient. We are more terse and less forgiving.

This brings me to today's point.

The Middle East is a mess. Go to Punch in Iraq. Punch in Jerusalem. You'll not only get the current temperature, you'll get the 10 day forecast.

Here's what most of the Middle east will experience today.

Partly Sunny today with a high of 118. Tomorrow, the same - 118. As a matter of fact - Partly Sunny every day for the rest of the summer - except when it's not 118 - it's 125. Hell, the overnight low is 88.

As we try to understand the tension in the Middle East, let's at least recognize that if we go nuts when it's 90 to 95 - how friggin' tense would we be if it were 120 everyday?

I'd have a towel on my head and carry a weapon.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Male Implants on the Rise.

You know what an IMPLANT is - right? I'm talking about implants on men. Implants - down there. OK. You're with me. Some, (not all) are electrically controlled. That's to say - they activate with the push of a button. The remote sends a radio signal to the implant - and the implant does what it does. If you - or someone you love is considering this surgery utilizing this technology - by all means, have the work done in the United States. Why?

Turkey is a country that performs many of these surgeries. They've performed many, and it's cost effective for an American man to fly there to have the work done. Turkey does not have a regulated F.C.C. like America. Our F.C.C. closely watches devices of all kinds and the frequencies they use. This is why your cell phone doesn't come in on your TV & why your microwave oven doesn't mess up your heart monitor. Turkey has blundered. Doctors in Turkey have installed implants on men utilizing the frequency occupied by Genie Garage Doors in the U.S.. I'll put it another way. The same radio frequency that causes your garage door to go up - also causes your husband to go up.

This might not be a bad deal. It'd mean you have a couple of extra remotes. But what if your neighbor was on your implant frequency? This is happening. You come home, you push the garage door button, and Elmer next door - rises unexpectedly. Elmer then has to find his remote to lower the mast.

Don't be Elmer. Have your implant implanted in America. Unless you wanna know exactly when your neighbor is going or coming.

Monday, July 17, 2006

What the Hell is going on in the Middle East?

Iraq. Iran. Afghanistan. Libya. Israel. Pakistan. Lebanon. Syria. What the Hell? I've remained "intellectually dumb" about the Middle East all my life. I've had no interest in what goes on there. The camels, the covered women, the turbans, the whole lifestyle in sand doesn't appeal to me. I read hundreds of pages a day of news. When I see "Middle East" - my eyes scroll past it. I don't understand it - and have no real desire to. I trust my Government to "put a man on it" who DOES understand it. I know life there is bad. I know people are repressed. I know bombs are going off. I know the very fate of the world may lie in the decisions world leaders make in the next several weeks. Why am I still not interested? I don't wanna know. I lived through the Cuban missile crisis in youthful bliss - I choose to keep my head in the sand again. I'm more concerned that my steak is tender tonight. (It will be - it's marinating right now.)

I had a million dollar idea today. Assemble experts to write a book about the Middle East. Target the book at people like me - who have no real idea what's going on there. We could read this book and quickly figure out why all those people are so pissed off - and why they hate us so much. I even had the title. The title alone - would sell this book.


I'm too late. The books out already. Check Amazon dot com and see for yourself. Damn.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Hip-Hop’s Top Brand Name-drops

Billboard Magazine has released the following report on the top ten most mentioned name brands in music.

10. AK-47, 33 mentions

9. (tie) Cristal, 35 mentions

9. (tie) Louis Vuitton, 35 mentions

7. Chevrolet (really?), 40 mentions

6. Hennessy, 44 mentions

5. Rolls Royce, 46 mentions

4. Bentley, 51 mentions

3. Cadillac, 62 mentions

2. Nike, 63 mentions

1. Mercedes-Benz, 100 mentions

Not surprising to hear that athletic shoes, expensive booze, automatic weaponry and luxury cars were the most mentioned. Here's a list of the 10 LEAST mentioned brand names!

10. ITT Technical Institute

9. Fast Cash Check Cashing and Payday Loan Services

8. Barnes & Noble Booksellers

7. Schnucks

6. Harvard Law

5. US Welfare Program

4. Office Depot

3. Chia Pet

2. Relief Fund for Exploited South African Diamond Miners

1. Martha Stewart Home and Lifestyle Solutions

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Cindy Sheehan is an idiot.

Cindy Sheehan began her hunger strike today to protest the war in Iraq. I won't waste anyones time explaining who she is.

Cindy Sheehan is an idiot. I'm sorry for her loss. She is a misguided tool. She initially said she'd fast until Sept. 21, International Peace Day. Now it's being called a "rolling fast" - whatever that is.

She's been joined by Susan Sarandon & Sean Penn outside the White House.

No doubt they prepared for the fast at Olive Garden last night. I bet it was "All you can eat Pasta Bowls" all around. Fill up on salad and bread sticks and you might be able to make it for 10 weeks.

Sheehan is desperate for attention. The media had already tired of her story. Sure, she'll get some press - but not nearly the press she got months ago. Her 15 minutes are up. Her next 15 minutes will begin when she dies in the street in front of the White House from starvation. But that won't happen will it? Surely when she begins to look haggard - a White House staffer will offer her a shrimp cocktail - (they always have a few left over from lunch.)

None of these Bozos will have the resolve to accomplish the mission they've set out on. They're doing it for the cameras. When the cameras go home - and they will quickly - their "statement" becomes moot. It's cheap, weak & classless. It's so thin it's invisible.

Downside is, she won't starve herself - and what's "up her sleeve" next time? May I suggest - streaking? Yep, that's the ticket. Streak a news conference in the Rose Garden. It'd be true to form. Maybe more would conclude what I did a long time ago.

Cindy Sheehan is an idiot.