Monday, January 11, 2010

Why the "Underwear Bomber" did it.

“Underwear Bomber” Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab blew up his penis because he didn't like "it."

Sex therapist Dr. Susan Block believes a lot was going on in the “crotch bomber’s head between his ears and between his legs” leading up to his terrorism attempt.
After reading online posts written by Abdulmutallab on Islamic forums, Block concludes that sexual frustration played a big part in him blowing up his private parts. She explains, “He’s a typical, horny, young male virgin attempting to follow religious strictures that don’t allow him to release his juices. It made him hate his genitalia. If he can’t have pleasure, then he just wanted pain.”
His hatred of his junk, along with radical Islamic beliefs, made him think strapping a bomb to his crotch would “solve all his problems in a big blast of glory.”
Block adds, “His noble mission would’ve sent him straight to heaven where 72 virgins would be waiting for him.”

**Let me suggest if you want to blow off your own private part, do it in private. You'll likely succeed, and isn't that the measure of a "good bomber?"

Monday, January 04, 2010

My Dog Newton and his Resolutions.

Over the weekend I found my dogs list of New Years resolutions.

Resolution #1: I will eat less and exercise more. Too many dog treats and much too much bacon.

Resolution #2: I will beg less. I've got begging down to a fine art -- Brian & Kellie are putty in my paws -- but it sure is demeaning. I promise to reserve the begging for worthwhile things, like steak.

Resolution #3: I will recognize the difference between carpet and the yard.. I promise not to treat the furniture and walls the way I do the yard.

Resolution #4: I'll do better "holding it" until morning. When nature calls, I'll steel my resolve to wait for my normal morning 4am walk, unless special considerations apply. I'll decide what those special considerations are.

Resolution #5: I'll tolerate those little bandannas from the vet more. I'll just put up with the way they feel and the taunts of the other dogs.

Resolution #6: I resolve to make this year the year I actually get my own TV tray table, instead of having to eat only what Kellie tosses on the floor.

Resolution #7: Brian in the dog cage, Me in the bed.