Great Hospital Sign

It was simply a case of the right bulbs going out at the wrong time. Check the neon sign for Elmhurst Hospital in Queens, N.Y.

Wanna Strangle Kanye West?

Kanye West Torture Chamber | Liquid Generation

Really Short Shorts

Wrangler Really Tiny Jean Shorts - watch more funny videos

Bri makes CNN debut soon.

This picture of me circa 1981 has taken on a life of it's own. It was posted to pierceshow.com a couple of years ago. it was picked up by the Dads in Short Shorts blog. Now, CNN is planning a story on blogs - and I've been contacted about signing a release for CNN to broadcast this pic. Whoa mama. I'll release the rights and post the air date, or better still - the video here - at a later date.

I've lived in the public glare for decades. It was reasonable to assume I'd make CNN for something someday. Never in a million years did I think it would be mixing shorts with Cowboy boots.

Media ia amuk.

Newsweek is fighting for survival & drifting toward irrelevancy. Check the cover - stolen from a "Runners World" shoot. Palin calls it "sexist" and "out of context." Media is amuk. The whole media train is off the tracks. Is there a single person in the world that can't see through this?

Women with Mustaches.

Click this if you dare.

Get your Obama Weather Forecast!

http://obama-weather.com/

The Germ Quiz

Swine Flu season is here.

Take this quiz to see how "germ-free" you are:

You use public restrooms. - 3 points

You wash you hands afterwards + 3 points

You open the door with your bare hand - 3 points (That is where the germs are)

You open the door with the paper towel you dried with then toss it. +3 points

Given the choice of a row of stalls you take the farthest from the door. - 3 points (that is the germiest)

You use the stall closest to the door. +3 points (That is the cleanest)

You wash your hands for at least 10 seconds under running water. -3 points

You wash you hands for at least 20 seconds. +3 points (minimum time under running water to kill germs)

You use hot water while washing your hands. -3! Points (Hot water will cause you to wash for a shorter duration, and only boiling water kills germs)

Showering after a workout at the gym you wear flips flops or shower shoes. +3 points

You do not wear shower shoes or flip flops. -3 points (Bad germs there... bad)

You friend brings over his new dog and he gives you a big lick / kiss. -3 points (The myth of the dogs tongue being cleaner than ours is well. A myth!)

You fend off the dogs kiss and settle for a pat on the head. +3 points (Statistically the dogs head has the least germs. It is the part he can't lick!)

Your score means? If you scored in the negative numbers you should head to the closest decontamination shower immediately! If you scored in the positive numbers you are fairly clean and worthy of a hug! Uh but make sure that person scored in the positive numbers first!

Michelle Obama's budget!

MICHELLE OBAMA’S WAY OF CREATING JOBS

Once upon a time, the First Lady’s social calendar was funded from the President’s own pocket. That all changed with Mamie Eisenhower. Since then, presidential wives have been allowed to hire staff at taxpayer expense. Jackie Kennedy had an assistant, Hillary Clinton had three, Laura Bush had one.

Michelle Obama’s staff includes 26 at a combined salary of $1.6 million

• Chief Of Staff: $172,200

• Policy And Projects Director: $140,000

• Social Secretary: $113,000

• Communications Director: $102,000

• Deputy Chief Of Staff (two of them): $90,000

• Press Secretary: $84,000

• Scheduling Director: $75,000

• Deputy Policy And Projects Director: $70,000

• Deputy Social Director (two of them): $65,000

• Deputy Scheduling Director: $62,000

• Deputy Trip Director: $60,000

• Personal Aide: $52,500

• Deputy Press Secretary and Social Aide: $52,500

• Traveling Aide: $50,000

• Director Of Correspondence: $45,000

• Deputy Associate Social Office Director: $45,000

• Assistant To The Chief Of Staff: $40,000

• Staff Assistant To Social Secretary: $36,000

• Staff Assistant: $36,000

• Deputy Correspondence Director: $36,000

The $8 bill

Just found this on Amazon.com.

I gave away $2 bills for Halloween.

I gave away $2 bills for Halloween. I was the talk of the neighborhood. I've done this before. I always thought there was a chance of a kid getting in line twice trying to get more cash than his fair share. It's never happened until tonight.

A kid rang my doorbell. He announced that he was Barack Obama. He had on no outfit - just a sweatshirt & running shorts. He explained that often the President dresses this way, and I didn't argue.

90 minutes later, as I'm about to shut off the porch light the doorbell rings again. Here's a kid wearing a Wolfman mask. He wanted his $2. Something didn't seem right - and it's then I recognized the sweatshirt & running shorts. It was Barack Obama, this time with a mask on.

I had Fairys, Policemen, Darth Vader & Spiderman. I had Batman and Cheerleaders. I had football players and little Pumpkin people - but the ONLY kid that tried to rip me off for more than his fair share was BARACK OBAMA.

With God as my witness, this is exactly what happened.

If it was going to happen - it had to happen this way. It's synchronicity. It's perfect.

Thanks Mr. President

Things we've learned from horror films.

When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house, move immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If you're searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave now.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.

Balloon Boy.

Barack Obama receives the Oscar, an Olympic Gold Medal, the Cy Young Award & an MTV Video Music Award.

Cell Phones dominate TV & Movies

This is a scream. Cell phones now dominate TV & movies. Never before has there been so much fooling around with phones.

World Record for Fastest Time reciting the United States in Alphabetical order while being hit on the head with wooden spoons.

Sleeping in a fast food parking lot.

Spangles Andover Kansas 9/15/09. People camping out to get free food. Wow.

The dumbest human in the world.

Got this from the Smoking Gun mug shots. This is clearly the dumbest human on the planet. What could he possibly be thinking? "Position the Swastika right between my eyes....that's it."