Smell like a Monster

I want Government money. I have a bank account.

The Government will soon stop mailing out checks. Yep. No checks. Sounds great. Those receiving cash from the Government - (there are 500 ways to do that, I just don't qualify for any of them) - will be required to have a bank account so the funds can be direct deposited. This is great!!!! With so much fraud centered around these government hand-outs - this might finally make a dent in those cheats. As a taxpaying American I am thrilled that finally something is being done to stop the over spending.

HOLD ON A MINUTE.

This just in. If you don't have a bank account, the Government will send you a debit card.

Give me strength.

Why Obama doesn't dare become the 'angry black man'.

(CNN) -- Here's proof that President Obama has indeed ushered in a new era in race relations.

Who would have ever expected some white Americans to demand that an African-American man show more rage?

If you've followed the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster, you've heard the complaints that Obama isn't showing enough emotion.

But scholars say Obama's critics ignore a lesson from American history: Many white Americans don't like angry black men.

It's the lesson Obama absorbed from his upbringing, and from an impromptu remark he delivered last summer. Yet it's a lesson he may now have to jettison, they say, as public outrage spreads.

"Folks are waiting for a Samuel Jackson 'Snakes on the Plane' moment from this president as in: 'We gotta' get this $#@!!* oil back in the $#!!* rig!' But that's just not who Obama is,'' says Saladin Ambar, a political science professor at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Some of the same people crying for Obama to show more emotion would have voted against him if he had displayed anger during his presidential run, says William Jelani Cobb, author of "The Substance of Hope: Barack Obama and the Paradox of Progress."

"It would have fed deeply into a pre-existing set of narratives about the angry black man," Cobb says. "The anger would have gotten in the way. He would have frightened off white voters who were interested in him because he seemed to be like the black guy they worked with or went to graduate school with -- not a black guy who is threatening."

Obama ready to kick butt?

Now some critics say that Obama should be a little bit more threatening.

On Monday, Matt Lauer on NBC's "Today" told Obama that critics don't want him to react to the oil disaster by meeting with experts and being calm. They want him to "kick some butt."

Obama responded by saying he talks to experts "because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick."

Obama's tough talk comes after criticism mounted over his response to the oil fiasco.

During a White House press briefing last week, a reporter told Obama's press secretary that most people haven't seen rage from the president. (That led Obama's press secretary to say he had seen an enraged Obama's "clenched jaws" in meetings.)

Obama's cool temperament even prompted black filmmaker Spike Lee to tell CNN that for at least one time, Obama should "go off."

But Obama has "gone off" before and that didn't work too well for him, says Ambar.

During a news conference last summer, Obama casually said that police acted "stupidly" when they arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis "Skip" Gates in his home for disorderly conduct after a confrontation with a white police officer.

Obama's comments infuriated many white people, and even some black supporters. Obama had to have a Beer Summit to calm the public uproar.

"He flashed genuine anger," says Ambar. "At that moment, when he touched on the issue of race, he spoke frankly and passionately about what he felt and it got him into a big deal of trouble."

Evoking the specter of the angry black man almost cost Obama his shot at the White House, says Paul Street, an author and political activist who worked with Obama in Chicago.

Street says videos of Obama's former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, angrily condemning America were so dangerous to Obama's campaign because it hinted that Obama may have been an angry black man behind closed doors.

"Rev. Wright almost cost him his run for the presidency because of fears of the angry black man," says Street, author of the upcoming book "The Empire's New Clothes: Barack Obama in the Real World of Power."

"What was Rev. Wright but the ultimate symbol of the angry black man who is going to take revenge," Street says.

That symbol is hardwired into American history and popular culture. It's Nat Turner, the slave who inspired a bloody 19th-century uprising. It's Malcolm X, the black militant who denounced "blue-eyed devils."

It's the hip-hop and rap artists who populate contemporary radio.

Why Obama can't get angry if he tried

Obama, though, has spent a lifetime trying to rewrite that script, says Street, who says he worked with Obama in Chicago.

"He is Mr. Equanimity and Mr. Consolation," says Street. "That's how he negotiated his way through multiple worlds, and reached out across bridges."

In his 1995 memoir, "Dreams of My Father," Obama explained why he thought such negotiation was necessary when he met white people as a young man growing up in Hawaii.

"People were satisfied so long as you were courteous and smiled and made no sudden moves. Such a pleasant surprise to find a well-mannered young black man who didn't seem angry."

If Obama wants to go down as a great president, though, he may have to discover the political value of rage, others say.

Franklin Roosevelt was such a president, historians say. During the Great Depression, he went after business leaders who opposed his New Deal policies. Roosevelt once said that he "welcomed the hatred" of the economic elites.

Could Obama become a 21st-century version of Roosevelt, not only in taking on the oil companies but big bankers as well?

Ambar, from Lehigh University, doesn't think so. Obama doesn't share Roosevelt's elite background, which inoculated him from charges of being anti-American. Roosevelt came from a prominent, and wealthy, American family.

"It's easier to do it if your name is Roosevelt," Ambar says. "No one questions your love of capitalism or your patriotism."

Obama's challenge ahead

The BP oil spill, though, goes beyond race. It is so egregious that Obama now has permission to stoke some "pitchfork, populist" anger, says Street.

"He's now in danger of being perceived as being too soft and conciliatory and too much in the bed of corporations," he says.

Some forms of rage remain a potent political weapon, says John Baick, an associate professor of history at Western New England College in Springfield, Massachusetts.

Tea Party organizers; Democratic leader Howard Dean; former presidential candidate Ron Paul -- all used rage as a powerful organizing tool, Baick says.

"Rage can provide answers to murky questions, rage can provide passion for the dispirited, rage can provide focus," Baick says.

But race-specific anger is off-limits, Street says.

"He would be politically dead; it would be over," Street says.

Yet the call for a black man to show more emotion on subjects outside of race is still a healthy development, says Ambar, from Lehigh University.

"I take it as a sign of progress that people are calling for Obama to be angry, an almost impossible sentiment a decade ago," he says.

Still, Obama must be careful about getting in touch with his inner-Samuel Jackson, others say.

Just as gushing oil lurks below the Gulf's surface, all sorts of ugly, racial undercurrents exist beneath the surface of American politics, Baick says.

"Our commander in chief has many burdens, and among them is our history and culture," Baick says. "Compared to the weight of that, the current BP crisis and the years of environmental damage and cleanup must seem transient."

This is bizarre on many levels.

Bacon in a Glass.

This is the Coldstone PB & C. Chocolate Ice cream & Peanut Butter milkshake. Sounds good. Drink one and you might as well have eaten 68 pieces of BACON!!! This baby packs 131 grams of fat and has over 200 calories. CORRECTION!!! Make that 68 pieces of bacon AND 30 Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Congrats to Coldstone Creamery on serving what's been dubbed "The Worst Drink in America." #2 is the McDonalds Triple thick Chocolate Shake - which has the fat of 13 McDonalds Apple Pies.

Get a Job Arlen.

Republican turned Democrat Arlen Spector is out in Pennsylvania. Hey Arlen, Good Riddance. Go get a real job. This goob has never ever had a real job. He won't have to though - he's loaded from being at the public trough his whole life.

Now more than ever - I'm inclined to "vote 'em all out."

Meet the $258 Million Winner.

This is the man that won a $258 Million Powerball jackpot. This is what makes lotteries so much fun. "Nuff said.

Yes, he intends to buy new teeth.

SNL Shake Weight.

Nancy Pelosi hates the radio business.

The Performance Rights Act has found a supporter on Capitol Hill -House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has come down on the side of new royalties for singers, said singers, songwriters and musicians deserve to be compensated for their creativity."

"The rights of performers are not forgotten," she said. "You have an army of advocates by your side -- from both parties -- on Capitol Hill."

*This woman clearly hasn't even read the bill - nor understands what it means. The poor business decisions of Record Companies, isn't Radio's fault - nor Radio's expense to pay. Record companies plain & simple are way behind the times. We'll no longer buy $15 CD's. Record companies will simply have to make the cut-backs radio already has. Record companies will have to re-invent themselves. Artists will come to expect smaller salaries. Artists will have to play more live concerts and - again - do what Radio already has - provide more value. A concert ticket with a CD, a T-shirt with a CD - a DVD with a concert ticket.

The Performance tax is the Record Business biting the hand that feeds it. Who in the Hell would have heard of any of a Record companies artists if it weren't for radio.

Record companies have provided music free for broadcast for 80 years. We already pay songwriter royalties. If Pelosi has her way, just one thing to do - CHARGE Record companies for airplay. They'll simply be another advertiser. And let's not forget, we'll still decide who gets to advertise.

It sucks to be a kid.

The Official News Vehicle.

And here's the....."Official News Vehicle."

I know the driver. From the look on his face, he's just realized he's driving the "Official News Vehicle."

The Reid Accident was no accident.

On the Net today:

"Senator Harry Reid's wife and daughter's car accident was no accident because the owner of the trucking company whose truck hit them is a die-hard Republican."

My guess is that the Trucking Company Owner will become unbelieveably, amazingly, astonishingly, fabulously famous.

These kids are amazing. Really.

This is disturbing - but here is a Chocolate Bunny melting to the strains of Rosemary's Baby.

Top 20 Five Second Films.

WVLT TV Knoxville reporter. Fun at 1 minute mark.

A MAN'S AGE IS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOT

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes, T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20’s
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50’s
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms’.

In your 60’s
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70’s
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80’s
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Walmart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Russian singer Edward Anatolevich Hill.

This is the full version of the dude seen on the Colbert Report. Kudos to the person who did his makeup.

Dogs catching treats in their mouths at 1000 frames per second.

This will piss you off.

A new study has found that atheists and liberals in the U.S. tend to have slightly higher IQs than religious believers and conservatives. The findings of the study, which will be published in the March issue of Social Psychology Quarterly indicate that atheists tend to have IQs about 6 points higher than believers and that liberals tend to have IQs that are about 11 points higher than conservatives.

*Let me guess. The Editors of "Social Psychology Quarterly" are Liberals that don't believe. Duh.

Broadcast Radio in 2010

This is a look behind the scenes at how bad some radio stations have it. Look at this kid on the air in LaCrosse Kansas. I like the plastic table. I have the next shift at this station..

The Toyota Plummet

Pee Wee Herman Gets an IPAD

Pee-wee Gets An iPad! from Pee-wee Herman

How to report the news

The Cars I've owned. Way out of order.

Obama is Bi-Polar

White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

Why the "Underwear Bomber" did it.

“Underwear Bomber” Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab blew up his penis because he didn't like "it."

Sex therapist Dr. Susan Block believes a lot was going on in the “crotch bomber’s head between his ears and between his legs” leading up to his terrorism attempt.
After reading online posts written by Abdulmutallab on Islamic forums, Block concludes that sexual frustration played a big part in him blowing up his private parts. She explains, “He’s a typical, horny, young male virgin attempting to follow religious strictures that don’t allow him to release his juices. It made him hate his genitalia. If he can’t have pleasure, then he just wanted pain.”
His hatred of his junk, along with radical Islamic beliefs, made him think strapping a bomb to his crotch would “solve all his problems in a big blast of glory.”
Block adds, “His noble mission would’ve sent him straight to heaven where 72 virgins would be waiting for him.”

**Let me suggest if you want to blow off your own private part, do it in private. You'll likely succeed, and isn't that the measure of a "good bomber?"

Launching a Christmas Tree with model Rocket Engines. I like these guys.

God Mode for Windows 7.

God Mode for Windows 7 only. Click.

My Dog Newton and his Resolutions.

Over the weekend I found my dogs list of New Years resolutions.

Resolution #1: I will eat less and exercise more. Too many dog treats and much too much bacon.

Resolution #2: I will beg less. I've got begging down to a fine art -- Brian & Kellie are putty in my paws -- but it sure is demeaning. I promise to reserve the begging for worthwhile things, like steak.

Resolution #3: I will recognize the difference between carpet and the yard.. I promise not to treat the furniture and walls the way I do the yard.

Resolution #4: I'll do better "holding it" until morning. When nature calls, I'll steel my resolve to wait for my normal morning 4am walk, unless special considerations apply. I'll decide what those special considerations are.

Resolution #5: I'll tolerate those little bandannas from the vet more. I'll just put up with the way they feel and the taunts of the other dogs.

Resolution #6: I resolve to make this year the year I actually get my own TV tray table, instead of having to eat only what Kellie tosses on the floor.

Resolution #7: Brian in the dog cage, Me in the bed.