Intercom fun with a professional announcer.

Wal-Mart stores can be so big and the workers seem so bored and the customers seem so harried and annoying. It seems like the perfect fertile ground to have a little fun at their expense. Sometimes I jump on the intercom and say something. I've done this numerous times. Often people recognize my voice. But how does one get access?

I have the answer. You can use the intercom from any one of the many telephones Wal-Mart provides around the sales floor. Even better, I know the code! Here is how you use the intercom at Wal-Mart:

• Pick up the phone• Dial #96

You're now on the store intercom!

The proper way to use the store intercom, I mean, apart from the fact it is only supposed to be used by Wal-Mart employees, is to simply have fun & be yourself. Keep your announcement clean and brief. Think it through. Never yell fire. You'll go to jail. But announce, "The mens room smells bad. Repeating, the mens room smells bad", will bring a smile to the face of each and everyone in the store.

Once I announced, "There are very few pants in here that fit me."

By the way, try to be as "Stealth" as possible. Real employees won't be amused.

Use this information wisely.