to thee I pledge to ingest
please don’t let me die.
Sinatra, swine man
the chairman of the skillet
Fry me to the moon.
With cheeseburger class
donut sensibility
and bacon swagger.
Mint is for bitches
Cinnamon is just a joke
Make mine bacon floss.
Bacon wrapped shrimp
[Strips that] go down like water
(minus the chewing)
How is it diet?!
There must not be real bacon.
And therefore no soul.
When Barack Obama moved into the White House on January 20th, he gained access to five chefs, a private bowling alley -- and a killer collection of classic LPs.During the waning days of the Nixon administration, the RIAA, the record companies' trade group, decided the library should include sound recordings as well as books. In 1973, the organization donated close to 2,000 LPs. The bad news: The selection was dominated by the likes of Pat Boone, the Carpenters and John Denver. In 1979, legendary producer John Hammond convened a new commission to update the list for the hipper Carter administration. The result: 200 rock records were added to the library.
On January 13th, 1981, the LPs — each in a sleeve with a presidential seal — were presented to Jimmy Carter at a White House ceremony. But the collection — placed in a hallway near the third-floor listening room, complete with a sound system — didn't remain upstairs long. When Ronald Reagan took office that year, the LPs were moved to the basement. Depending on the source, the reason was Nancy Reagan's distaste for shelves of vinyl, or the edgy choices themselves.
A spokesman for Obama said it was too early to comment on whether the president would revive the library.
The Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball was begun in 1953 for President Dwight Eisenhower's inauguration. The event recognized recipients of the Medal of Honor, the nation's highest military award. There were 48 Medal of Honor recipients in attendance, who were undoubtedly disappointed by the Commander-in-Chief's failure to show. Over the past 56 years and 14 inaugurations, no President has skipped this event - until now.
The Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball is sponsored by the American Legion, and co-sponsored by 13 other veteran's service organizations, including those such as the Paralyzed Veterans of America and the Military Order of the Purple Heart.
Instead of attending this ball honoring our nation's heroes, Obama was busy making stops at 10 other official balls.
Celebrities were a plenty at the balls, with Stevie Wonder, Shakira, Mary. J. Blige, Faith Hill, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Adam Levine, will.i.am, Sting, Mariah Carey, and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance at the Neighborhood Ball. In addition, the other nine balls also featured a star-studded lineup including Kanye West and Kid Rock at the Youth Ball, Marc Anthony at the Western Ball, and Cheryl Crow at the Western Ball.
It was the party without all of the celebrities that Obama skipped. The very people who he sought to have support him during his candidacy and campaign, who have fought to protect this country, were snubbed in favor of publicity and the opportunity to rub shoulders - yet again - with the out-of-touch Hollywood elite.
TITLE 4--FLAG AND SEAL, SEAT OF GOVERNMENT, AND THE STATES CHAPTER 1--THE FLAG Sec. 3.
Q. What's an example of irony? A. Bruce Springsteen is scheduled to sing "Born in the USA" at Barack Obama's inauguration.
Q. Why will Obama quit begging for donations once he's sworn in?
A. Because he'll no longer have to ask.
President Obama is being criticized because his inaugural celebrations are projected to cost the taxpayers over $400 million. When asked about it, Obama explained that Ted Kennedy planned to attend and there was going to be an open bar.
President Obama plans to ride in the inaugural parade without the traditional limousine. He'll be in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.
A. If something happened to her, then Barack would be in charge.
A. So Hillary won't know which one he's in.
Q. Why will Obama hold a séance once he's in the White House?
A. So that he can thank many of those who voted for him.
Obama's staff is preparing for his first press conference as President. They're busy writing the questions.
Q. Why will Obama ride in the back of a Presidential limousine?
A. The Vatican wouldn't sell him a Pope-Mobile.
Q. Why will President Obama get a new puppy for the White House?
A. Joe Biden is getting on in years.
Meet Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III.
This is the "Stagecoach" - that's what they call it. The heavy armor is reportedly at least 5 inches thick. The limousine also has run-flat tires, bulletproof glass and a completely sealed interior to ward off a chemical attack.
The replica of W’s desk still sits in the Oval Office beneath the Iranian and American flags. The seal of the president of the United States still adorns the floor mats across the hall from the zebra-skin rug. And the porch overlooking the 75-car parking lot is still called the Truman Balcony.
Contestants must have logged at least 45,000 hours singing in front of the mirror, at family dinners and in church.Contestants must know with metaphysical certitude that they are destined the be the next American Idol.
Contestants must arrive at the audition looking approximately 75% to 82% worse than they plan to look three months hence. Extra points for stringy hair, skin conditions and slouching posture that can be corrected during the middle rounds.
Contestants must arrive with a very close family, preferably including one grandparent who played a critical role in their upbringing.
Contestants are encouraged to arrive in the midst of heartbreaking family tragedy. If auditioning in the "Painfully Bad" category, contestants will register shock and disbelief at their failure to earn a ticket to Hollywood. When leaving the studio, they will be certain to curse the judges for their blindness to true talent.
Contestants should at all times exhibit deep religious beliefs but be careful not to name the religion that they feel deeply about.
Contestants with a modeling past may use their appearance to earn a ticket to Hollywood via flirting with Judge Cowell. However, such contestants will exit the season at 18th place and never be heard from again. Likewise, brawny male contestants singing romantically to Judge Abdul will be granted a ticket to Hollywood, where they will be quickly eliminated from the competition.
The "No Goths" regulations remain in effect. If planning to win the competition, do not come intending to audition but merely to support a sibling or friend.
In pre-interviews, it is important to emphasize that you are grounded, family-oriented and a down-to-earth wholesome young American.
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