Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The McRules.

Joanna works at a McDonald's in Walker, Louisiana and she has some McRules for you to follow if you want to eat at her McDonald's.

The spelling, grammatical & punctuation errors are included. She posted this on her MySpace page. It's since been removed. Read, and you'll see why.

THE MCRULES.

1. If we have temporarily run out of an item on the menu, dont cry about it and make stupid commetns about how "this never happens at burger king!" either order something else or get the hell out!.

2. If something is out-of-order, get over it. The world is an imperfect place and mcdonalds is not immune to that.

3. If im on my break and eating in the lobby, dont ask me to fetch you BBQ sauce. just because im still in uniform does not mean im on the clock.

4. If you dont speak english well, bring an interpreter.. if not dont get upset when your order gets messed up.

5. Dont confuse franchises! we dont biggie size, we dont have onion rings or nachos, and no..you may not "have it your way".

6. Dont roll your eyes at me if you just paid me eight dollars and forty three cents in change and im counting to verify..its my register and ill do it my way.

7. If you dont see tomatoes on the sandwich in the picture dont fucking ask me to take them off. The big mac has been around for ages.. it dosent have tomatoes..

8. Dont start handing me change after ive already totaled your order, opened my register and started counting your change. Its not my fault you were too slow..just take what i give you!

9. Keep your sweaty, wrinkly bills to yourself..along with your sticky change.

10. Dont fucking ask me if your sauce is in the bag if you never asked for it in the first place.

11. When i hand you your food.. and say "have a nice day!" you better respond with a smile, a "thanks, you too" or at least acknowledge my existence.. its called being polite people..

12. Dont scream at me if i ask you to repeat your order.. we're talking about cheeseburgers , not missiles..so calm down!

13. Dont come into the lobby two minutes before we close. chances are ive already cleaned ,and it will only cause me to do unspeakable things to your (already stale) food.

14. If you ask me for a moment to decide , dont ask me "are you ready" you needed more time - not me!

15. If you have a "turbo disel" truck or an abnormally loud vehicle..how about turning off the engine genius? instead of trying to order over the noise .. I guarentee you'll find it much easier to understand each other.

16. Dont act offended when i check your bills to see if they are counterfeit. Everywhere else you bring it, they're going to do the same thing.

17. Please dont order a combo and then when i ask what kind of drink you tell me you dont want one. that defeats the whole purpose of ordering a fucking combo idiot!

18. When you pull to the window and hear/see me taking another order.. dont start talking to me about your order you rude whore.

19. After you pay, proceed to the next window if noone is in front of you.. Our buisness is over.

20. Listen when i say "your recipt will be at the next window" dont sit there and stare at me after i close the window.

21. Please learn what time breakfast ends and lunch starts. no .. i dont serve burritos all day. This is not jack-in-the-box.

22. If you're a senior citizen , dont think you can drive past the speaker and say you forget to order.. go back around like everyone else! you already get discounts ..what more special favors do you expect?!

23. For the LOVE OF GOD, if you know you should..then cover your damn self up! just cause its drive-thru dosent mean you shouldnt dress decent still.

24. If your card is declined.. dont ask why and assume its our fault. Put some damn money in the bank cheap ass.

25. Do realize that i can hear everything you say from the moment you pull up to the speaker till you drive off. so if you're talking shit , dont act so suprised when im not exactly friendly when you get to the window.

26. If im busy taking an order, dont put your money on the ledge and not expect me to do the same thing with your change.

27. Does this look like toys-r-us? who cares if your kid's got 10 of the same toy already.. thats telling me you dont feed them at home enough

28. I fucking know what PLAIN means.. dont feel the need to include that means "meat and cheese only!"

29. You are about 10 feet from the window when you are at the speaker..dont ask me what you total is when i told you once AND it was on the screen.

30. Dont order a large ice cream cone.. they're all one size.

31. Dont come through drive thru after your mid life crisis in your new sports car.. and try to impress me with your 1987 pick up lines.

32. Dont come through drive thru and then tell the manager at the 2nd window that i was rushing you. Drive thru is SUPPOSED to be fast.

33. Dont ask me if we do cash back, this isent a bank.

34. Dont order free water and then sit in front my window and ask what the hold up is..you arent paying for it anyway..

35. If you ordered a burger without pickles and they somehow ended up there anyway.. just pick them off because thats all im going to do when you bring it back to me to "fix it".

36. CLEAN. UP. YOUR. MESS . those trash cans are conveniently located next to the exits for a reason.

37. If you are the passenger of the car or in the backseat and you know that you dont talk very loud.. dont try to order for everyone in the car..

38. Please quiet your kids and other passengers from trying to order all at the sametime. I can only listen to one person at a time.

39. If you let go of your money before i grab it, or you drop it while i am handing it to you.. dont look at me like you really expect me to get it for you..besides you're closer.

40. What's the point of "easy ice"?? our ABS machine dosent even have that setting. either order no ice or take what you get.

41. if you wouldnt talk like you have SHIT in your mouth, i could understand you the first time...

42. If you see me having a conversation for a few seconds with the car in front of you.. dont be an asshole and honk your horn.. you will get your food soon enough, chances are it isent even bagged yet.

43. DONT TALK SHIT as you are leaving the first window. I still have another window i can catch you at..and trust me I WILL.!

This is the drivel of a minimum wage hack - who will always be a minimum wage hack. Has she earned the right to insult customers like this? Of course not. Here's hoping she's on the beach looking for another job. I take that back. I wouldn't wish this turd with an attitude on any employer.

Good thing I'm not the Walker Louisiana McDonalds Franchisee. I'd clean house. Hell, I'd consult a lawyer about suing this dipshit.