Damn Jack, I just blowed up!

Gasoline prices are about to go over $3 a gallon. We just passed $70 a barrel for crude. I've heard experts spout that crude could top $100 a barrel. $5 a gallon gasoline can't be far off.

With prices so high - gasoline theft is up too. Drive offs at Gas Stations and siphoning of tanks. Let's look at the latter - gas siphoning.

You have a full tank of gas, let's say 18 gallons. It's just sitting there ripe to siphon, because you don't have a locking gas cap do you? Thieves in the middle of the night are squatting behind parked cars looking for cars with full tanks. They insert hoses into the tanks, suck on the hose, start the flow, and drain the gas into tanks or cans they've brought along. In the last few years several of these gas thieves have been burned because they struck matches to see in the dark. Surrounded by fumes, these dipshits exploded. They avoid flashlights because they increase the chance of being caught. Makes sense - and stupid at the same time. The Government is considering stepping in to help these goofballs.

The feeling is - it would be cheaper to educate the thieves than treat their life threatening burns - so - "Flash some light on your siphon bottle" - is the theme of a proposed advertising campaign. Idea is - if you're gonna steal gas, don't light a match - use a flashlight. Another slogan : "Safety is as safety does. When you steal gasoline, use a Flashlight." (They also wanted to add artwork depicting a lighted match with a large X through it.)

Politicians continue to debate this campaign behind closed doors. The soonest we'll see the ads will be this summer. KABOOM.