Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Ultimate Tornado Siren


Springfield Illinois is considering purchasing new Tornado sirens in the wake of two tornadoes that touched down here last month. The sirens we have now are old and unreliable. Each test, several don't work. The Mayor is proposing a massive upgrade. I don't know much about sirens. If you are a siren company - how do you price your sirens? The deluxe model is louder? Do all sirens sound the same? Can you special order sirens that blast a certain note? How about the key of "F"? Can I get a siren that screams an "F?" Have studies been done on how humans respond to sirens? Maybe sirens that blow in the key of "A" will send us to our basements sooner. Research must be done. How about sirens that don't blast a siren at all - but play music? Maybe play "Windy" by the Association when it's going to be really windy. Play "Riders on the Storm" when it's gonna rain. The mayor is actually considering connecting a microphone to the sirens. This means somewhere, probably City Hall, there would be a microphone that would be capable of announcing to the whole city. We could have announcements every morning just like High School or any episode of M*A*S*H. In this otherwise non progressive city - I propose progressive sirens. If we're going to spend the money, let's spend it on the latest greatest siren technology. And while I'm at it - if the city needs a mature seasoned trained announcer to be the "voice of the city", I throw my hat in the ring.

3 comments:

Your Daughter said...

It would be so cool if you were the VOICE OF THE SIREN. It'd be fun to see how much power you could have. On a bright sunny day in the middle of the summer, come on the speaker and announce that the Hardees on Wabash is giving away free fried chicken. Oh wait - you've got a radio show and you can do that at any given time. Takes the fun right out of it. Whereas if the siren thing was your only major gig, you could really go wild.

Anonymous said...

I vote for you for "Siren voice".

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