Monday, October 23, 2006

Dishtowel beats Hillary Clinton in new poll

George W's approval rating is down. Democrats are foaming at the mouth in anticipation of the mid-term elections. Will Democrats take control of the House & the Senate? We'll know soon enough. The burning question is, who will the Democrats put on the Presidential ballot in 2008?

Hillary Rodham Clintons' name is often batted around as the candidate. But, how "electable" is Hillary - really? She'll bring all the "Clinton baggage" - and it must be said - "the female factor", to the race.

"What if" the election were held tomorrow?

A new poll of adult voters in America's heartland say they'd vote for a DISHTOWEL over Hillary Clinton - for President. Yes, given a ballot of Dishtowel or Hillary - 100% of voters in this new poll would elect the Dishtowel.

The astonishing poll was conducted on the popular "Brian & Kellie Morning Show" broadcast on WNNS-FM in Springfield Illinois.

"We thought we'd get at least one call for the New York Senator", said Kellie Michaels, WNNS morning host & Operations Manager. "Every single call went for the towel."

WNNS host Brian Pierce pointed out, "This is a regular size cotton dishtowel."

Political pundits in the area speculate this news will come as a blow to the Clinton campaign, or that Central Illinois "really loves dishtowels."

Clintons spokesperson was unavailable for comment, as was the Dishtowel.


Abe said...

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all dishtowels are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those dishtowels that gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave dishtowels, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead dishtowels we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead towels shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the towel, by the towel, for the towel, shall not perish from the earth.

Steven Franks said...

That's a nice looking towel there Bri.

Anonymous said...