Wednesday, June 14, 2006

My Chicken is Raw.

"My Chicken is Raw." This is what I hear each time I grill Chicken. "It's pink in the middle." This usually means I have to return the chicken to the grill to cook even longer. In my opinion, the chicken isn't pink - it's not undercooked in any way. I usually grill chicken for 45 minutes easily. Often I grill the daylights out of it - leaving not one drop of moisture in it. Even then - "This is raw!" I'm expected to serve my family hard, dry chicken - and I'm fed up.

Since I am the griller - you can call me "The Chicken-er." I serve chicken to "Chicken-ee's." Do Chicken-ee's have the right to criticize the Chicken-er? It's like looking a gift horse in the mouth. I'm the one who sweated over the 500 degree grill. I'm the one who purchased the chicken, marinated it, trimmed the fat from it, lovingly turned it - and served it. The Chicken-ee's do nothing but sit and wait to be fed. Chicken-ee's should be respectful to Chicken-ers - taking into account all that's involved serving grilled chicken.

This is on my mind because I was just accused last night of serving an overdone steak. In this case I was the Steak-er - and the Steak-ee complained. "I like my steaks pink in the middle!"
Huh? This is too much information for a Grill-er to keep straight. You want hard, dry, overdone chicken, and semi-raw undercooked beef?

What about Pork? Fish? Write all these down and post at the grill please. The grill-er is weary of the complaints.

This Griller longs to be a Grill-ee. I want to be a Chicken-ee & a Steak-ee. I want to sit in the Air Conditioning and have others grill for me. I want the power to criticize what I'm served. This is the part that's easier said than done.

I'd just eat it. From raw to shoe leather - I'd be grateful someone cared about me enough to serve me.

2 comments:

Your Daughter said...

I care about you enough to eat whatever you set on my plate - even if I know you're serving me grilled crap, if you say "It's good, you'll like it", I'll always give you the benefit of the doubt and try it. And I also care enough about you to be your kitchen assistant whenever I am around.
Let me take the grill once. The few times I grilled chicken, it turned out perfect.
Maybe you should get a meat thermometer. I don't know why you don't have one. Maybe I'll get you that for Father's Day. Every amazing griller needs one, I hear. At least that's what Alton Brown tells me. I love that guy. and I love you!!!

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