Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Naked driving.

Close your eyes and pretend for a moment you're driving your car naked. Yep. Naked as a jaybird. You're steering & braking & signaling and performing every function of operating a vehicle - devoid of clothing.

Why might you do that? Maybe it's hot - unbearably hot. You have no A/C and the windows don't go down. That's plausible. Maybe you don't want armpit stains on a special shirt you plan on wearing that night. Maybe in the process of taking off the shirt, you thought, "What the Hell, I'll take off my pants too!"

So here you are - naked behind the wheel. I imagine it feels nice. Probably liberating. The restrictive shackles of clothing might make you a better driver.
What's the big deal? No - one can see anything. No - one but truck drivers. Their sheer height - allows truck drivers to look down upon you wearing nothing but a lap belt.

Imagine the surprise Loannis Mpletsakis felt when he met Police Officers in New Jersey. That's right - Loannis Mpletsakis is his name (sounds like a naked driver name to me) - and he was completely nude. What might he be up to? Why on Earth would Loannis operate his vehicle this way? Actually. Loannis crashed his BMW into a truck - and realizing he was naked, checked to see if the other driver was OK - then fled on foot. He apparently sought the dignity of nearby bushes. Loannis wasn't thinking clearly. He had a number of excuses why he was naked at the ready. I've already listed a few. The trick here is when dealing with Police Officers - "believable excuses" - and Loannis couldn't come up with even one.

The excuse he gave was, "I was coming home from swimming in a pool full of chemicals - and chose to take off my bathing suit so as to not ruin the leather seats in my BMW." Ouch Loannis! Bad call. Bad ad-lib. That's his story and he's sticking with it.

Loannis is a cop by the way - and his trial continues on a variety of charges.

The prosecution plans to sit naked on leather seats to prove they can withstand the wear - and they can - I oughta know - I drove to work naked this morning.


Anonymous said...

Judge Says Naked Cop Can Return to Work - (01/04/2007)

EDISON, NJ (AP) -- Edison officials expect to keep trying to prevent a nude cop from getting back in uniform.

A judge yesterday ruled the officer (Loannis Mpletsakis) was wrongly convicted of a charge stemming from an off-duty crash in 2005.

The cop ran naked from his BMW after it was involved in a crash with a box truck. The police officer claimed he'd been swimming and didn't want to get his car seat wet.

The judge vacated an earlier order requiring the patrolman to forfeit his job.

Police plan to file a disciplinary charge.

Anonymous said...