Thursday, June 01, 2006

Showers are good.

I like showers. Not baths - showers. I like being clean. I like deodorant and all that jazz. I like a good shave and expensive shampoo. I like trimmed fingernails and my hair in place. Occasionally, I wear cologne or after shave. I like clean clothes. I want dry cleaner pressed shirts & slacks. I want heavy starch & shined shoes. I try to keep the hair trimmed from my nose & ears. I don't mean to bring GOD into this, but you know what they say - "Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Clean people aren't born that way. We're born sticky - and quickly stink up the place. Being clean is something that is taught. I obviously learned to be clean. I have clean parents and a clean house. I've raised clean children and drive a clean car. It's not very often that someone who is not clean - suddenly becomes clean. Have you seen the home cleaning shows? A team moves in and cleans the home of people with OCD. The homeowner squirms and fidgets through the whole show - because to them - clean is not comfortable. Filth is something they hide behind. It's a mask of sorts - masking their innermost discontentment.

There are many people I believe aren't clean. Brad Pitt for one. His body odor is legendary. Russell Crowe looks dirty to me too. Courtney Love strikes me as someone who needs to bathe. Imagine my amazement when I discovered that the person I considered for the "Dirtbag Hall of Fame" - Kevin Federline - actually cleaned up.

But, just like the home cleaning shows (as soon as the camera crew leaves, the crap begins stacking up - and suddenly the place is a pig sty again) - KFed will be back to his normal smelly self right away. This can't last.