Sunday, May 07, 2006

I don't want a Giant TV

I don't want a giant TV. This makes me the only man on Earth that doesn't want one. For the record, I have a 27 inch Sony. It's taken me all my life to rise to the elevation of "Trinitron owner" - and that's good enough for me.

A new poll of men at Big Box stores, reveals the first thing men will do when they get their giant TV home - CALL THEIR MAN FRIENDS AND BRAG. Often, this is followed by the giant TV wannabees - converging on the home of the giant TV owner, and salivating on the set.

Why not a giant TV Bri? First, it becomes the focal point of any room it's placed. Hard not to notice the 1000 pound behemoth screen. The giant TV takes over the room. The room will from then on be called the TV room. There is no option - the TV takes up the whole room.

Giant TV's are impossible to decorate around. Unless your room is decorated in a screen motif, or maybe a Drive In motif, forget it.

At 1000 pounds, it's impossible to clean behind - or ever move. Set it where you want it. Think it through. It will be where you place it the first day, forever (or until it blows up.)

TV shouldn't be that much a part of your life. I like television like the rest of you - but if television is important enough to you to invest in a Buick sized screen, maybe you should re-evaluate your priorities.

LCD, Plasma, HDTV - spare me. Many giant TV's cost more than cars - or at the very least, boats. I suggest you buy a boat and spend more time outside in the sun with your family. Your relationship with them will improve, and you'll all get a little sun.

I also have a prediction. Like boats, the two best days in the life of a giant TV owner are, the day you buy it - and the day you get rid of it.