Often I see reports on how you can deduce things about a person, by the things they own - or do - or say. These things reveal inner feelings a person might not be ready to admit. Psychiatrists draw conclusions about people from these things. Obsessive behaviors for example.I HAVE EIGHTEEN PAIRS OF SHORTS. If you'd asked me how many pairs of shorts I had, I'd have probably answered, "six". I came to my "shorts realization" cleaning out my closet. I rifled through my folded pants - neatly stacking my shorts into a single pile. Soon, my shorts pile was about top topple over. Eighteen pairs of shorts do not sit well in one pile. I'm not talking about underwear. I probably have more than eighteen pairs of underwear. I also have five swim suits.
I have athletic shorts, khaki shorts, cotton shorts, and shorts that are shiney (like Evander Holyfield might wear.) I have short shorts, and long shorts, that make me look like I belong in "the hood". I've collected these shorts over the last 15 years. I must be "shorts compulsive". That's the only conclusion I can make. I have "a thing" for shorts - and I don't understand it. I don't even look good in shorts. I rarely wear shorts in public, reserving shorts for weekends at home and washing the car. Shorts for me are "vacation pants". Maybe that's why I have so many shorts. Maybe deep inside I'm trying to recapture the freedom & joy of vacations long gone. Maybe I associate shorts with really good days, and for $15 I can buy a "piece of a great day." Now, I'm attempting to diagnose my problem. I should leave this to professionals. I need therapy. No person needs eighteen pairs of shorts and five swimsuits. And those of you who have that many - should summon the courage to throw some out. I just can't. I have my shorts neatly stacked in three piles. Now, they're categorized by "casual level".
I'm gonna ask my Doctor if SHORTREX is right for me. SHORTREX - for obsessive shorts disorder. OSD. I'm the first person on earth to admit to the problem. Pray for me that my OSD doesn't ruin my life and I end up alone on the streets pushing a cart with 300 pairs of shorts in it. Maybe I've caught it in time.
.jpg)
2 comments:
Daddio - it's great that you admitted your problem. That is, in fact, the first step in solving it. Your courage has inspired me to admit something as well. I have OUD - Obsessive Underwear Disorder. I don't know how it happened, but one day I realized that I had over 40 pairs of underwear. I have a problem.
You need PANTREX. For those who obsess about panties. PANTREX is for women. UNDREX is for men with the same problem.
Post a Comment