Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Why don't women like Air Conditioning?

Turn on the Air Conditioning! For the love of God and all things Holy - turn the A/C on!

This is an annual argument in my home - every year since I married in 1981. Oddly, I don't recall A/C arguments prior to marriage. Apparently the guys I hung out with before marriage were all on the same A/C page.

I want the A/C on - my wife does not. She believes strongly that when the A/C should go on - is a date - not a temperature. Usually, even she agrees that Fathers Day is a good day to turn on the A/C. If the temp hits 100 prior to Fathers Day - doesn't matter, it's too early to turn it on.

My wife says she likes fresh air. In my opinion, Hot, Humid, Polluted, Pollen laden - fresh air. There are two types of people in the world - Sweaters & Non-Sweaters. I am a sweater. I'm not embarrassed to admit - I sweat when it's over 90. I'm pretty good up to 90. At 90 - I sweat - and usually sweat until I get get somewhere cooler. I sweat in bed, I sweat on leather car seats and stick, I sweat on whatever I'm doing. You don't want me cooking for you in temperatures above 90 - for the meal will be likely "sweat in".

Why are women generally opposed to A/C? Is it a blood pressure issue? I believe it's a control issue. In my (married since 1981) opinion - women want to control their environment. Women want to control their total sensory environment. Turn that down! (A response to music they don't like.) Change that channel! (Response to a TV show they don't wanna watch.) Turn here! (Responding to your driving North, when Northeast can get you there 1 minute faster.)

If men are going to concede all the above - we should at least demand to make a single environmental decision. Let's all buy thermostat lock boxes, set the A/C where we want it - and keep the key.