Why do I like meat slicers?

I want one. I want a meat slicer. I saw a $99 professional grade meat slicer in a magazine, and I've been thinking about it for two days. It's not like I have an unusually high affection for meat, just a normal healthy love of meat. I like meat prepared many ways, and one of my favorite meats is - any meat sliced.
Stop right there Bri. Won't the store slice your meat free? Yes. Doesn't most meat come in little bags pre-sliced? Yes again. This is why I'm so troubled. I've made it this long without a meat slicer, why freak out about it now? I'm not sure. I imagine it's because I could take all the time I wanted slicing my meat to personal perfection. On a whim I could slice my meat thick or thin or any thickness in between. Meat slicers were always one of those tools I admired from the wrong side of the deli case. I watched with envy as the deli person grabbed that slicer handle. They always ask, "How thin do you want it?" We always respond, "Thin baby thin." It never is as thin as you imagine it could be. It's probably because the deli person has other customers and isn't allowed to spend 30 full minutes slicing your 1 pound of ham. This makes a personal meat slicer attractive. I could take that 30 minutes - maybe an hour and 30 minutes - slicing to my content - until my chosen meat is the thickness of onion paper. I'd shoot for meat you could see through. I'd hold it up in front of my face and look at you to test it. If you appeared slightly pink - Heaven!!!
"Linens and Things" by the way.