Monday, February 20, 2006

I'm at the end of my Wireless Phone Rope

Wireless phones. Cell Phones. Now that they're here, how could we live without them? That's the way technology is. The world functioned well for billions of years before cell phones - now - BLAM - they're here, and we gotta have them. OK, I concede portable wireless phones are kinda neat. Some of you really need them. You get the phone, you sign on the line for "the plan" - and you're part of the cellular (or now - digital wireless) community. That's not my rub.

*Who thought up the Camera Phone? How could two things completely unrelated - making a call & taking a picture - become married into one technology? The wireless companies thought it up. In secret meetings behind closed doors, they conspired to make your bill as high as possible. The minutes you used weren't going to produce the profits they wanted - so "Hey, let's attach a camera to that thing!" Everytime you take a picture and send it to anyone - you pay. Even if you send it to yourself - you pay.

*Who thought up the special ringtones? Same deal. The beeping & buzzing wasn't good enough. Now ringtones have become the single biggest moneymaker in the music business.

*Who thought up internet access? Who thought up TV on your phone? E-mail, instant messages - Geez - there are countless ways to rack up your phone bill, that have nothing to do with a phone.

I have a camera. I have a PC. I have several TV's and several e-mail accounts. Why would I duplicate these services on a phone? This is money wasted, and we're all being taken for a "technology ride." If any of these services were available free of charge, that might be different. It'd be added value. But they're not. They're all part of your a la carte phone bill.

My cell phone last straw is downloadable music. OOOHHHH the phone has little stereo speakers and I can download songs for $1 each! Wow. Now, that's value. The bill comes. Your $39 plan is now $215 because you downloaded 5 songs, 4 ringtones, answered 20 e-mails, sent 40 instant messages and shot 15 people pictures. You paid to get the basketball score and watch a movie trailer. You paid to play Mario Brothers on line while you waited to see the Dentist. My God you throw away money.

Rest assured, I embrace technology. I can do anything you do with your phone. I can do every last stupid thing your phone does and do it cheaper - because I don't even have a wireless phone. Everyone in my family does - but, I don't.

Maybe that's why I'm pissed off about the bills. Do ya think?


Your Daughter said...

The thing is, dad - while you can probably do all that stuff cheaper, you can't do it while standing on a street corner! You can't take your desktop computer everywhere you go. Now THAT would be a nifty invention!!! Hey! I might be onto something! A computer you can TAKE WITH YOU!

Briblog Blog said...

I can't take a blender wherever I go. I love to blend. I can't take my washing machine either. I won't argue these inventions are "cool" - it's just that they're not necessary. Being in constant contact with the planet is a BAD THING - yet people PAY FOR IT. Incommunicado. THAT used to be cool. Still can be. Turn off your phone and see. My desktop on a street corner? No Thanks. I wanna watch for cars.

Your Daughter said...

I think I should clarify that I do not use any of the "unnecessary" services that Cingular offers. The only thing I am moderately crazy about are the ringtones...but I've maxed out the space on my phone so I can't download anymore.
And I'm also nuts about personalizing the look on my phone with faceplates and Trinkies.

nofone said...

You chronic cell phone users, I’m thoroughly sick of you.

I’m sick of having to listen to your dumb conversations as I walk down the street or sit in the park or anywhere people used sit in peace.

I’m sick of having to be wary of you while you chat away in a car too close to me, especially you vapid girls and young women with your attention far away from moving several tons of metal along a road.

I’m sick of having to maneuver my shopping cart around you while you talk to someone at the other end about the goddamn freshness of the cantaloupe or whether to buy Cheerios or Wheaties. I’m sick of hearing your one-sided chit chat while I’m trying to enjoy a meal in a restaurant.

Hey, I don’t want to hear about your romantic problems, your job woes, your vasectomies or your yeast infections.

I’m sick of the various sounds of your phones’ “ringing,” all those sounds engineered just for you. I’ve lately preferred the whine of the dentist drill as I wait for my name to be called.

Anonymous said...