Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Missing Olympic Events


In America, the Olympics have become all about television. NBC paid $2.9 Billion for the television rights to the next three Olympics. To recoup that investment they need viewers. They need alot of viewers. Are the current Olympic events captivating enough to hold our interest? Sure, everyone has a few favorites. But, how about the Olympic committee consider adding even more new events? Here are a few I propose.

Instead of discouraging drug use, have an event for drug users. As a matter of fact, make THAT the event. Athletes sitting around doing drugs. America could send Tommy Chong and the U.K. could send Keith Richards. There could be "pairs" like Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie vs. Kelly Osborne & Lindsay Lohan. First to pass out - loses. See what I mean?

How about Texas Hold 'Em Poker. America would send Phil Helmuth, Jesus Ferguson & Chris Moneymaker. They'd kick the Nigerian Poker Teams ass.

How about an International Chopper Motorcycle building competition? There's a time limit. We could send that Father & Son from West Coast Choppers. They would nicely represent America.

Speaking of time limits - how about Olympic 30 minute meals? The Japanese team would sent their "Iron Chefs" - but those guys need an hour. Rachel Ray would do nicely.

Olympic home redecorating. Don't laugh. Take the whole damn HGTV staff and select TLC decorators. Ratings would be through the roof and we could finally see then paint in slow motion.

Olympic Survivor. Get Jeff Probst and 1 contestant from each country - give 'em nothing - and see who lasts until the closing ceremony.

Bobsledding with Celebrities. Luge with the Stars. I could do this all day. One thing for sure - you'd watch. Any of these would pull a bigger audience than Cross Country Skiing. Tradition? Hell with that. It's all about the money.