Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I'm all Ryan Seacrested out!

Ryan Seacrest. He's everywhere. That's an understatement. Why - is the question. Idol is huge. Is it because of Seacrest? We all know the answer. His fame is on the coat-tails of trendy formulatic television. If he hadn't been lucky enough to get the Idol gig in the first place - all that's followed - wouldn't have. He's on E. He's on radio in L.A. He does syndicated radio. He has a clothing line. For the love of God, he's being touted as the next Larry King! What's next? The sky's the limit. I wanna know when he sleeps.

Am I jealous? Yeah, probably. My hey-day was about 20 years ago - when I was his age. I was approached to do the show in L.A. Seacrest does now, in 1987. That was the apogee of my career. But -

All that's followed for Seacrest - I don't understand. He's not compelling to listen to on the radio. He's not especially good at interviews. He's not at his best ad-libbing. He's not that sharp a dresser. His voice isn't especially strong. He isn't funny. Is it the hair? It's gotta be the hair. Seacrest is the flavor of the month. When Idol peaks and Fox pulls it - look for Seacrest to be pulled too. He won't have the shelf life of Dick Clark - or the radio career of Rick Dees (The guy he replaced in L.A.)

I have Seacrest on my mind (you know that's not his name - right? Sounds like a toothpaste or a mouthwash) because, I saw him on the Oscar red carpet broadcast Sunday. He was wearing a child size clip on bow tie. If Dick Clark could speak, he'd say "Good Lord." I'd like to hold him down and give him a shave.