Brad Pitt is my Father

Very soon a kid will be able to say that. Brad has Angelina Jolie pregnant. What's the big deal? I have knowledge about the minds of women. I know many - and here's what's going on. It's simply that women want to have his baby. Yes. I said it. This dude from Springfield Missouri with a High School education is the man women want to Father their children. This fact is what's driving all the media coverage. This story is everywhere. Papers, TV, the internet, radio - I just saw a plane fly over pulling a banner that read, "Angelina is having Brads baby!" Brad Pitt is 43. Did you know that? When this kid graduates High School, Dad will be 60. Isn't he past his prime? Angelina's just 30. Did she know his age? Of course not. She fell under the "I want to have his baby" spell - the rest of you have. Admit it. You too - want to have Brads baby. You'd chuck it all for the opportunity. You'd give up your family, your career - everything - for that chance in a lifetime. If Brad came to you and said, "Baby, let's go!" - that's all it'd take. You'd fall into the "Brad trance" and submit. I hear he smokes dope all day. I hear he smells bad. I hear he doesn't change his clothes for days on end. I hear he's not that smart. Does he even know a single Final Jeopardy Question? You know the answer. No. Doesn't matter. "Brad trance." Will the Angelina relationship last? You know the answer. Too many women want to have his babies. All women. There will be more babies. Different women - other babies. There are over 3 billion women on Earth. He doesn't stand a chance.