Bri's Drug test results

In my city there is a massive drug investigation going on. Speculation is - many of this cities prominent citizens may be involved. Some might consider ME one of this cities prominent citizens - so - here are the results of my drug test performed Saturday January 28, 2006.


My urine contained traces of:
*caffeine, coffee creamer & equal sweetener
*Excedrin (aspirin, anticetimenophen & even more caffeine)
*Nicotine
*Small traces of MSG (Chinese dinner last week)
*A & W Root Beer (Diet - more aspartame)
*Insignificant trace of Garlic
*Anabolic Steroids
*Flintstones Chewables
*Viagra
*Urine

My hair sample contained traces of:
*All of the above
*Suave Herbal care shampoo - lavender
*White Rain Hair Spray

Let this put to rest once and for all any link I may have with the Federal Investigation.

Brian Pierce/Springfield Illinois