Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I have big feet.



Big feet. Not "circus big" - just big. Size 13. Had a woman call today and ask my size. I said, "13". She said I "sounded" like someone with big feet. I took that as a compliment. In my world - men with little feet are "girlie men". They have whiney high pitched voices - and run from trouble like Forrest Gump. Big feet guys would include manly men like John Wayne. I don't know this for sure, I just imagine John Wayne had big feet. Don't you? I mentioned my size on air - not realizing I was offending men with small feet listening. They are insecure enough without having to endure a low voiced manly man - ribbing them about their Cinderella feet. In my family the mens feet are big. I've produced two sons with big feet and a daughter with pretty big feet too. We all have a larger than average "platform" on which to balance. Big feet are good for a persons esteem. I feel slightly better about myself having big feet. If you have small feet - you will never know the joy I feel everyday. I can punt a football 40 yards and kick off a tee 50. I can lift you off your feet kicking you in the butt - and can kill thousands of swarming ants in one stomp.

I've received mail today from men offended by my comments. Women are laughing and reporting to me their husbands size. One women even wants to date me. I knew it. Big feet gets the girls.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glossary for Large feet

Acromegaly: A chronic metabolic disorder that affects middle-aged and older people and is caused by excess production of growth hormone which causes the bones of the face, jaw and extremities to become larger and longer. Also called acromegalia.

Gigantism: Excessive growth in childhood, often from a tumor.

Which do you have?

Anonymous said...

i have narrow feet. yay! when i was little and everyone wore vans (you know the slip on shoe ish things) cuz they were in style i couldn't because my feet were too narrow and they would have given me blisters. *tear tear* *rubs fingers together* so i shall play the world's smallest violin for myself. :P jw... who here has narrow feet?

Anonymous said...

I am 14 years old, and have size 16 feet!! I love them. They are so long and wide!!! And they do get the girls!
Oh, and by the way, what they say about guys with big feet is TRUE! At lesyy in my case.....

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I thing a guy should have big feet. The ladies seem to like my size 13's. Even though flip flops aren't manly, the ladies get to see that I'm not some poser with a size 7 foot in a size 13.

Anonymous said...

yeah u guys are right i have size 14 and all the ladys love me expecially when i wear flip flops. they tell me it turns them on!!! lol but i just have question! what size do people think are big and small?

Anonymous said...

I wear a size 13 and I'm loving it.
Check out AuCourantShoes.com

Anonymous said...

please rape my ass!